A simple "hello".

well, kinda.

For the last few years, a lot has been written about the “Male Loneliness Epidemic”, which has been described as the alarming rise in social isolation, and the lack of deep, meaningful friendships amongst men. Driven by decades of a culture dedicated to repressing your feelings, a rise in self-centeredness, and lack of empathy for others, it has seemingly been supercharged in this post-pandemic world.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Solving the male loneliness crisis is easy:

There, I solved it. Thanks for coming, see you all later.

Seriously, step one in making meaningful connections is just saying hello to people.

I’m a native New Yorker, growing up in East Williamsburg, home to my mother, her mother before her, and all the way back to my great-grandparents, Italian immigrants from the great wave of early 20th century immigration. My immediate family stuck around our block of Williamsburg rowhouses, as it transformed from a once neighborhood of homogenous families, soon hollowed out by white flight and suburbanization, eventually hit by the waves of post 9/11 gentrification, becoming apartments full of transient ‘hipsters’ as , leaving us as the sole branch of the family tree still residing in Brooklyn.

My father, while taking care of the trash one day, overheard two older women walking down the block, on their way to the NYCHA houses across the street, talking about the state of the neighborhood.

“This block used to be so nice…but not anymore.”

And he was struck by that. He realized it that a lot of a recently as a decade before, the block had a good amount of “stoop people”, apartment dwellers who would spend a good chunk of their free time on their stoops, Jane Jacob’s proverbial “Eyes on the Street”. And if you passed by, they’d greet you, maybe you’d get a full conversation, but you’d always leave with at least a smile.

When my grandmother passed, she was essentially the last of them, and those missing eyes on the street are what the older women were referring to. My dad was saddened by that, and resolved to “say hello” to his neighbors, and it’s a mission I’ve continued in my life.

It doesn’t have to be a full hello. Sometimes a smile, a nod, or if you’re really adventurous: a “need any help?”

So, anyway...

Hey, I’m Steve Flack. I’m a 44 year old childless man with a lovely girlfriend, living in NYC, and I can tell you this: you don’t have to be lonely. It’s not always easy, sometimes it’s hard work, but it’s possible.

So thanks for joining me on this adventure. Every week, I’ll send out a new newsletter with some tips and tricks that have worked for me, in my attempts to be a better neighbor, friend, and partner.

Weekly Link:

A Simple Routine That Tansformed My year: 50 coffee dates with strangers

“The effect was not just social. It was mental. When you sit down with people who build, imagine, question and create, your own ideas start to shift. Your assumptions loosen. Your perspective stretches. Even short chats leave behind a spark that lingers.”

I was really inspired by this project that Toronto artist Jode Roberts finished in 2025: fifty conversations over coffee with strangers. In a world where so much of our interactions are virtual, the idea of sitting for a simple coffee with someone is almost revolutionary.